The best HR advice comes from people who’ve been in the trenches.

That’s what this newsletter delivers.

I Hate it Here is your insider’s guide to surviving and thriving in HR, from someone who’s been there. It’s not about theory or buzzwords — it’s about practical, real-world advice for navigating everything from tricky managers to messy policies.

Every newsletter is written by Hebba Youssef — a Chief People Officer who’s seen it all and is here to share what actually works (and what doesn’t). We’re talking real talk, real strategies, and real support — all with a side of humor to keep you sane.

Because HR shouldn’t feel like a thankless job. And you shouldn’t feel alone in it.

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Somehow, we’re midway through March and almost at the end of Q1. I' am still recovering from SxSW which was an amazing experience- but I am not 30 years old and being that on the go and constant peopling takes ore out of me than it used to. But luckily I get to do it all again at Transform in Vegas next week. If you’re going to be there, let me know so we can grab coffee!

The things that are keeping me sane in this month of wonderful chaos: Peloton workouts, reading, Shrinking & The Pitt episodes, and scheduling more potato time. What’s keeping you sane and grounded when so much is happening? I’d love to add to my bag of tricks!

I’m also going to relaunch this newsletter in the next few weeks….more to come here, but look out for that email, and a new name. Content is definitely not changing- the name shift better captures what we’re doing here, and who is reading this newsletter. And I’ve already ordered stickers, so you know I’m excited about this.

Also- you’ve also likely noticed the ads. I am only sharing newsletters that I think are interesting and can genuinely support you all- and I personally love “I Hate It Here.” Yes it’s mainly for HR, people and culture folks—but I’d also recommend for founders and EDs without a proper HR function or people managers trying to do better.

Early in my career as a teacher then school leader, I noticed a pattern. I'd sit in on a class, watch students struggle with something — a concept, a skill, a process — and bring it up in the debrief afterward.

The teacher's response?

"I taught it."

And they had. It was in the lesson plans. They'd stood in front of the room and delivered the content. Checked the box. Moved on.

What they hadn't done — and genuinely didn't realize — was check whether anything had actually landed: whether students could do the thing or whether the conditions existed for the learning to stick. Delivery and learning are not the same thing.

I've been designing adult learning experiences and consulting long enough to know this doesn't stay in schools. I hear the same thing from managers after training all the time.

"We did the training."

The session happened. People showed up. The slides were good. Maybe there was even a role play. And then everyone went back to their desks — and two weeks later, nothing had changed.

It’s not because the training was bad or that anyone wasn't trying. It’s because we confused the event with the outcome.

Here's the unsexy truth about behavior change: Behavior change requires a system. Not an event.

A single session can create awareness. It can introduce a concept. It can even get people excited. But awareness is not behavior. Excitement is not skill. And one session — no matter how well designed — cannot build habits that survive real operating conditions.

The system surrounding a manager every day — the incentives, the norms, what gets noticed, what gets ignored, what their own manager models — that system is more powerful than any training you will ever run.

If the system doesn't change, the behavior won't either. That's not cynicism. That's just how humans work.

So what actually works? A few things that are boring, proven, and consistently skipped:

Ask why before you train. Is this a skill problem — or an ecosystem problem where the system is actively making it hard to do the thing you're training for? These require different interventions. Running a training on a structural problem is like giving someone a map when the road doesn't exist.

Design for repetition, not exposure. One session creates familiarity. Three rounds of practice with structured debrief builds actual skill. Most programs are designed for the former and then surprised by the latter's results.

Build something after. The best manager training I've ever seen had nothing fancy about the content. What made it work was what came after: a peer cohort that met monthly, a shared language, and senior leaders who actually asked about it. The training was the spark. The community was the fuel.

Name what you can't control — and focus hard on what you can. You may not own the incentive structures or senior leadership behavior. But you do control whether you name the real problem, whether you escalate data with clarity, and whether you design learning that requires people to actually think. Because as cognitive scientist Daniel Willingham puts it, memory is the residue of thought. If your training doesn't require thinking, it won't be remembered.

Think about the last training your org ran for managers. Ask yourself one question:

What did participants have to actually think hard about — and what happened in the weeks after to reinforce it?

If the answer to either half is "not much" — that's your starting point. Not a new training, but a  reinforcement structure around the one you already ran.

On March 31st I'm running a two-session Train the Trainer on performance reviews — designed specifically for HR leads, People Ops, L&D, and Chiefs of Staff who are tired of designing processes that don't hold.

Two 90-minute live sessions. Office hours included. 4 SHRM credits.

$575 per person. $475/pp if two or more people register from the same org.

If you're heading into a review cycle and something about your current process feels off — this is for you.

You can reply to this email or register HERE.

Audit your "ready now" vs. "ready later" bench. Pull up your org chart and put one name next to each critical role: who steps in if that person leaves tomorrow? If you can't answer that for your top 5 roles, that's your starting point. You don't need a formal succession plan — you need a list and a conversation.

Audit stretch opportunities before you assign them. Before you hand someone a high-stakes project or expanded role, ask: what's the skill gap, what's the support structure, and what does failure cost — to them and to the org? A stretch should challenge someone, not set them up to drown. You're looking for someone who's 70-80% ready, with a clear plan for the remaining 20 — weekly check-ins, defined decision guardrails, or a smaller version of the same project first. And if they're not quite there yet? Have them observe — exposure is development too.

What Authentic Leadership Looks Like Under Pressure- Leading in mission driven organizations is now harder then ever, as leaders are navigating multiple challenges that are in consistent flux. I loved this HBR article for naming the specific challenges, and offering a path forward for leaders. I most appreciated the focus on clarity and an organizational focus on reliance, and think this is a must read for every leadership team.

Why Blended Workforces Fail Without This Type of Leadership- As workforces blend full-time employees, contractors, and AI, the real gap isn't assembly — it's leadership. Without clarity, trust, and genuine connection to shared purpose, blended teams lack the psychological ownership needed to function as one cohesive unit. (And if you’re looking to develop yourself or another senior leader on your team, check out my May cohort here for doing exactly this)