In partnership with
Table of Contents
I’m really trying to add more gifs
So, April Lisa has some questions for December Lisa.
December Lisa had a plan. Sequenced, realistic (ish?), a little ambitious, and color-coded. I was (am!) very proud of that plan.
Here in late April, that plan has met reality. Some things shifted, some things got pushed, and a few things I didn't plan for showed up and needed attention. Every plan morphs a bit upon contact with reality. But even with the gap between what I mapped out and what happened, I'm still further along than I would have been without the plan. The tension between strategic planning and real life— definitely its own topic and probably one for the fall.
For now, here's what's new: starting next month, look for a bonus beginning-of-month email with more resources, and a chance to get more actionable support. More details coming soon (and if you have any special requests, let me know! So far I have an ask for open office hours and more leader scripts).
Also — and not at all related- I'm headed to Charleston on Friday. If you have recommendations on things to see or do, please let me know (I think my partner has the restaurant part covered!)
You are a Leader — Have Your Relationships Caught Up?
When I became a principal, I was excited to build a different type of high school for the students I cared about deeply. This sounds supremely noble. But at the core was a small issue — I still saw myself as the person who got things done. Someone with a high bar of excellence, who figured it out and delivered. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing That identity had served me well — it was, in fact, the reason I got promoted. What I didn't understand yet was that it was also the thing quietly working against me.
I had the plan, the frameworks, the docs. So, so many Google docs. What I didn't have was a true understanding that my job was not just to point to the bar or hand over the plan, but to create the conditions for other people to do the thing. On some level I knew that — I just had no real idea how to do it while ensuring the very real children in front of us had an excellent education from day one. I hadn't made that shift internally, which meant it showed up everywhere externally.
It showed up with my manager. Our relationship had been built on the fact that I did great work with little guidance — I had actively told him no on some suggestions to my curriculum, and it worked. But in this new role? Handing down metrics and getting frustrated that I couldn't execute at my old speed was less than helpful. He was evaluating me on the old metrics while expecting the new ones, and neither of us had named that. But honestly? I wasn't asking the right questions either. I was still trying to prove I could execute rather than figuring out what he actually needed me to own.
And it showed up with my team. I treated them the way I had treated my old history department — peers who did not report to me — and assumed people would feel comfortable pushing back, asking questions, saying something when they disagreed. What I didn't understand is that the volume of what you say just gets louder when you're the leader. A peer might push back without thinking twice. A direct report? Less so. At least not to your face. So I'd say we need to do something, read the room as agreement, and move on — not realizing I hadn't created space for anyone to actually respond. Part of why I didn't notice is that I was still measuring myself by output. By what got done. Not by whether my team had what they needed to do it well.
It took longer than I'd like to admit to name what was actually happening. It wasn't a competence problem. The relationships had shifted — all three of them — and I hadn't caught up.
The three shifts that matter before the framework
When we prepare for leadership roles, we think about our plans. We do a SWOT analysis. We map out actions. We make, in some cases, very thorough binders (I see you Leslie Knope). What we don't usually prepare for is that our relationship to our team, our manager, and ourselves has fundamentally changed — and without recognizing that, no action plan alone is going to get you or your people where you need to go.
Most people prepare for one of the three. A lot of people prepare for zero and just hope the LinkedIn content catches them on the way down.
Your team. The moment your title changes, people stop talking to you the same way — and if you haven't made that internal shift yet, you won't even notice it happening. The candid peer who used to push back on your ideas in a meeting? Now reading the room before they speak. The colleague who would text you a blunt take? Choosing their words more carefully. Authority shifts the dynamics of how people communicate with you, whether you asked for it or not. And if someone on your team hasn't shifted how they talk to you? That's also worth paying attention to — it usually means something about the relationship that needs addressing. Either way, influence — real influence, the kind that gets actual commitment rather than polite nodding — has to be built deliberately. That's true for any new team. It's especially true if you've been promoted from within, because now you're managing people who were your peers last Tuesday. Those relationships don't automatically renegotiate themselves. You have to do that work explicitly, or you'll spend months wondering why things feel off.
Your manager. Your job is not to wait for direction and execute it faithfully. That's what got you promoted — it's not what will make you successful in the new role. The shift is from implementer to owner, and your manager is not always going to spell that out for you. What you need to get underneath is not just what they're asking for but what they're actually trying to solve — the bigger picture they're navigating, the pressure they're under, the outcomes they're accountable for. When you understand that, you stop waiting to be told what to do and start bringing them what they didn't know they needed. That's the relationship reset. Not just managing up, but genuinely understanding the game your manager is playing so you can be a real partner in it.
Yourself. This is the one people skip because it feels soft. It isn't. If you keep measuring yourself by what you accomplished this week, you will always feel like you're losing — because leadership is slow, your wins are diffuse, and they live in other people's growth and decisions and confidence, not in your own output. You were excellent as an individual contributor because that excellence was visible and yours. You have to be willing to change the question: not what did I accomplish, but what did I make possible. Does that sound like a poster on a guidance counselor's wall? Maybe. Ok, yes. But it's also just true.
Why the tools don't stick
I've built enough workshops to know what it looks like when someone leaves with genuine insight and is back to their default by Thursday. This isn't a motivation problem — most of these folks are highly motivated and disciplined. It's that individual tactics don't hold inside a system that hasn't changed. It's like swimming against the current. And they really don't hold when you're applying them alone, without anyone helping you see your own patterns.
The frameworks, the scripts — they all matter. But they're secondary to something more foundational: do you actually see yourself differently in this role? Have your relationships caught up to your title? How do you want to show up right now?
The tools are the easy part — probably why we gravitate toward them. The internal work is what's actually transformational.
And if this speaks to you…
If you or a direct report are looking for actionable and affordable support on stepping into a new leadership role, I’m leading a workshop on May 28th on Building Your Leadership Operating System. Use this link for a discount, as a thank you for being a subscriber
1% Solutions
Ask before you build Before you finalize a plan, talk to one or two people who'll have to live with it. Not to get their approval — to find the landmines you can't see from where you're sitting. Five minutes of that conversation saves weeks of backpedaling.
Define "good" before anyone starts Before you hand something off, say out loud what done actually looks like. Is this an A? A solid B? Does it just need to not be embarrassing? People work harder — and smarter — when they know what they're aiming at. Vague expectations produce vague results.
End meetings with one real question Before you close, ask: "What's unclear or feels missing?" Not "any questions?" — that's a social cue to wrap up, not an actual invitation. This one swap, done consistently, is the difference between a team that tells you things and one that doesn't.
What I’m Reading & Listening To
To Gain Customer and Employee Loyalty, Go Beyond Good Enough- In this HBR Ideacast, Marcus Buckingham discusses the idea that the only way to truly make an impact on performance is to make sure customers don’t just like- but love- whatever you are selling them (and employees are your internal customers). He also notes the importance of creating an experience rather than checking off boxes. Buckingham has long been an advocate on building on strengths (an idea I’m 100% a fan of). Related, he wrote this article on What Companies Can Learn from Their Biggest Fan (in case you would rather read than listen!)
Better Ed Lab: How to Improve Your Learning- For those not fully enmeshed in the ed world, Doug is a former school leader who studied what made the best teachers actually good — not vibes, but the specific, observable moves that can be replicated— and built a taxonomy out of it. His work has evolved over time but the core is giving language to equip teachers to be better at their job. Technically this is about kids' learning, but I kept pausing to think about what a real culture of learning looks like inside organizations.
Your business has grown. Is your accounting on the same path?
When you started out, doing your own books made sense. But the business you're running today isn't the one you started. If your accounting hasn't kept pace, it's quietly costing you — outdated financials, no clear view of what's actually profitable, and hours every week pulled away from the work that grows your business. At BELAY, our Financial Experts integrate directly into your business. They manage your books, reconcile accounts, run payroll, and deliver the timely insight you need to make big decisions with confidence. Stop guessing. Start knowing.